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Saturday, January 1, 2011

WARNING! READ THIS before you make any New Year's Resolutions!

First let's talk about the bad kind of New Year's Resolutions.

The bad kind of resolution would be to set a goal for a result you want. For example:

I want my children to not fight with each other.
I want my boss to give me a raise.
I want to lose 20 pounds.

What's wrong with those goals? They only focus on the outcomes. They have nothing to do with your behavior. Behaviors you can change. You can't always control the result.

Better goals:
I will work to get my children to bed earlier so they have the rest they need.
I will focus more time at work on the things that are most needed, (and spend less time on email!)
I will work out 3 times per week, find healthy snacks to satisfy my hunger, and drink 6-8 glasses of water per day.

Do you see the difference? The first set of goals can lead you to be continually frustrated if you haven't been able to produce the desired effect. The second (good) kind of goals are the ones YOU have control over. At the end of every day, you can say, "Yes, I did it. I can probably do it tomorrow, too." Much more positive.

Check out a podcast segment I did on this very topic four years ago.

You'll just need to listen between 7:25 and 22 minutes. There is an article I reference about Chinese footbinding (I do have a point). You can find that article here: http://www.myseveralworlds.com/2007/07/11/suffering-for-beauty-graphic-photos-of-chinese-footbinding/

I want you to be successful and feel good about yourself. I hope this helps. I welcome you to talk to me anytime. 

NEXT POST: a healthier perspective on continuing your goals. 


  1. Hey Shelly, I have been reading over some of your blog. First time I went on it was yesterday and it is so fun to read and it's uplifting. Thanks for putting time into it! I am going to continue to enjoy reading the current posts and back logs =c)

    This also means you'll probably get comments from me periodically on really old posts, lol.

  2. Thank you Lorna! I'm glad you find it useful. I really hope it does something to create healthier views about our body and expectations. We are so hard on ourselves.